'Sex Wrestlers' Investigation: Final Report

For many years, we in the Vice Divsion had been hearing rumours and stories from informants about a secret underground all male wrestling circuit that was known as 'Sex Wrestling', a variant of wrestling in which the competitors fight without wearing any form of shorts or briefs, their genitals exposed, and the winner is the first to engage in anal sex with his opponent. The stories went that these matches generated a lot of money through entrance fees and illegal gambling. However, no hard evidence or leads had ever been discovered, calling into question whether or not this 'Sex Wrestling' even existed.

Six Months ago, a tipoff from an informant provided the first lead this case had ever had. According to the information, the circuit operated out of a chain if exclusive sports clubs owned by the international corporation Thurman Industries.

I volunteered to go undercover at one of these clubs in order to investigate. With my background, having been part of the wrestling team in college, I was the perfect candidate.

After many months spent infiltrating a branch of the club as a patron, and making many contacts and friends of the staff and other customers, I was able to discover that some wrestling did indeed take place at the club, and was able to talk my way into being allowed to take part, adopting the wrestler name of 'The Furious Fox', an old nickname from college.

However, I must report that the wrestling was of a normal variety, nothing more than some simple matches and the odd basic tournament, very friendly and informal, and above all else, perfectly legal.

And of course, it goes without saying that the wild tales of wrestlers being 'brainwashed' through a combination of hypnosis, drugs and intense psychological conditioning, in order to render them unswervingly loyal to the circuit's mysterious operators and eager to continually participate and enjoy every second of the experience, are utterly ridiculous and should be ignored completely.

With my time undercover now complete, I am forced to conclude that 'Sex Wrestling' is nothing more than a bizarre urban legend. The only lead we ever had has led to absolutely nothing. It is my recommendation that the 'Sex Wrestling' case be closed permanently. I firmly believe that any further investigation would be a waste of time and resources better spent elsewhere.

The above report was filed by Detective Jacob Anderson.

Eight months after the filing of this report, Detective Anderson resigned from the Police, citing a growing dissatisfaction with his job and a desire to explore other career opportunities. His current whereabouts are unknown, his friends reporting that he moved home without leaving a forwarding address and they have since lost touch with him. Reports of him being seen at the same club he infiltrated could not be verified.

The 'Sex Wrestlers' case remains closed, on orders from the Police Commissioner and the Mayor. Unconfirmed reports that this order was given after they personally met with representatives from Thurman Industries, as well as rumours that they both are now members of the sports club in question, have been described as 'ludicrous and slanderous'.