That Day, Part 11: That Moment



It was a nice night out for our date.

Saturday had rolled around again, which meant it was once again time for Harvey and I to go out together. We hadn’t actually said anything about it, we’d just seemed to silently agree that we’d be having another date Saturday night.

We did discuss what we might do, considered various options. I used some of the over-abundance of spare time I had to do some research and came up with an area by the river that was hosting a free music festival, all kinds of events and live music lasting into the night.

Neither of us were really into partying until late, but we agreed that we could pay the festival a visit, see some live music. It could be fun. There wasn’t really any plan, just grab an early dinner and then see what happened when we got there, see what took our interest.

So, I picked him up from his apartment in the early evening and our first stop was the restaurant I had found just a few blocks from the festival.

I admit I was a little uncertain how things were going to feel between us. Things had seemed fine on the phone the previous few days when we talked, but this was our first time actually together since the night I turned up at his place with pizza and tried to force myself on him.

It had seemed like such a good idea at the time, the perfect way to make my boyfriend happy. Harvey had really done the right thing, it wouldn’t have been right, and I was so impressed with his self-control. It really brought home to me just how great a guy he was.

But I had been so damn embarrassed about the whole thing afterwards and still was when that Saturday arrived. I just had never done anything like that before with any previous boyfriend. I’d never had my insecurities get the better of me that much. I’d never felt so strong a need to do something for a boyfriend before. That probably meant something…

It did, yet I wouldn’t realise it until later that night.

It turned out that all my worrying and embarrassment had been for nothing. Harvey didn’t bring up what had happened. It seemed that as far as he was concerned, it was over and done with. The atmosphere between us was as relaxed and jovial as it had ever been.

The restaurant was an Italian place, a very nice little place near the waterfront. We had a nice meal, making general small talk as we ate. After that we took a stroll along the river in the direction of the festival.

It was a nice evening, dusk slowly settling as we walked, a cool breeze blowing against our fur. It felt so good to be there, side by side with Harvey. The urge to hold his paw and cuddle up against him as we walked was strong, but not enough to overcome my fears and self-consciousness. After all, there were plenty of others around us, also enjoying the night air and presumably also heading for the festival.

“Oh yeah,” Harvey said as we strolled. “How did things go with your doctor’s appointment yesterday? I completely forgot to ask you when we spoke last night…”

The day before I had indeed seen a doctor, to have the progress of my recovery checked. It had been mostly good news.

“It went pretty well.” I explained. “Everything seems to be healing up nicely. My stitches will probably be out soon. Although I’m still going to be sporting the cast for a while yet.”

“That’s great!” Harvey said. Then quickly added. “Not about the cast, of course, but…”

“I know what you mean.” I reassured him. “Although I have been advised to spend at least another week off work. So, more boredom ahead…” I trailed off, not wanting to sour the mood of out night out by moaning about things.

“I’m sure you’ll survive it, Oliver.” The bear beside me said. “And I’ll do my best to help relieve your boredom as and when I can.”

“Thanks.” I smiled at him appreciatively.

We carried on walking, and were soon approaching the festival, the sound of lively music telling us we were heading in the right direction.

The wide pathway that ran alongside the river was getting more and more crowded as we went. Groups of friends and other couples were standing around chatting and laughing or heading in the same direction we were.

The increasing crowd caused me to become more and more self-conscious and paranoid at being out and about with my boyfriend. I half expected everyone about us to start staring at the gay couple any second.

Of course, I knew it was ridiculous. That wasn’t likely to happen. But my sub-conscious liked to latch on to that small possibility that there would be a vocal and maybe even violent homophobe somewhere nearby, and then use that to drive me crazy with worry.

But with Harvey by my side, I found I was better able to supress those worried feelings, to keep them under some form of control. Which brought a smile to my muzzle.

The festival itself was being held in a large park area that backed onto the riverside path. It was already in full swing when we arrived, the air filled with various tunes, almost drowned out by the chattering of the crowd.

There were stalls of various kinds, selling food and drink and all kinds of souvenirs and knick-knacks. We ended up buying ourselves some drinks and drifting over to a table in a relatively quiet corner of a nearby seating area.

From where we sat, we had an okay view of one of the stages and watched a band perform as we sipped at our drinks. I found myself slipping a paw under the table to rest it on his leg. He didn’t say anything to that, just shot me a warm smile, placed a paw over mine and returned his attention to the stage.

My gaze lingered on him for a few moments, enjoying his rugged handsomeness and once again counting myself lucky that this magnificent bear was my boyfriend. I found myself briefly staring at the scar on his muzzle and the missing piece of his ear and wondering, not for the first time, what the story behind them was.

There was a brief flash of annoyance at Harvey’s continued avoidance of telling me much about his past, but I quashed it. He’d tell me when he was ready.

Wouldn’t he?

I shook off that thought and focused on the here and now, intent on enjoying my night out with Harvey, and got back to watching the stage.

The music was pretty good. We sat there for several songs, just drinking and enjoying it, occasionally exchanging snatches of small talk over the music.

Eventually, the band finished their set and it became easier to talk. There was something I wanted to ask. “Do you ever miss music?”

“What do you mean?” Harvey looked a little confused at the question.

“You mentioned you used to play the guitar.” I explained. “And I couldn’t help but notice the cute way you were tapping on the table with a paw in time to the music. So, I was just wondering if playing music was something you missed.”

“You think that was cute?” Harvey smiled and raised an eyebrow, ears flicking in amusement.

I gave him a grin and a shrug. “Well, I think most of the things you do are cute, so yes.”

He simply chuckled and sipped at his drink.

“Well?” I prompted after a few seconds silence. “Do you miss it?”

“Making music?” Harvey paused, thinking about it. “I suppose a little. I guess I never really thought about it much after I gave it up. I did enjoy doing something creative.” He cracked a smile. “Even though I was never really very good.”

“I’m sure you were fine.” I said, automatically trying to reassure him.

“I appreciate the vote of confidence, Oliver.” He giggled. “But the complaints from my college roommate tell a different story.”

“Well, I’d love the chance to judge for myself sometime.” I say, before downing the rest of my drink.

His eyes met mine, giving me a strange thoughtful look. “Maybe you will.”

I perked up at that. “You mean…?”

“Oliver? Oliver, oh my God, it is you!”

A familiar voice interrupted me, derailing my train of thought. It was just such an unexpected thing to hear then and there that it took me a moment to process it as I turned to face the fox who was now approaching our table.

Justin was beaming at me. Dressed in a stylish silk shirt and designer slacks, fur immaculately brushed and groomed as usual. He had an arm around the waist of a massive brown-furred wolf in jeans and a skin-tight vest that hugged his bulging muscles.

As they drew near, Justin let go of the wolf and grabbed my arm, pulling me up and giving me a fierce hug.

A moment late, he pulled back, but kept his paws on my arms. “It’s good to see you!” He grinned. “I spotted you sitting here and thought that it couldn’t possibly be you! I would not have expected to see you at an event like this, much less holding paws with a guy under the table! I mean, my dear Oliver engaging in public displays of affection with another guy? I never would have thought it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes!”

“It’s, err… good to see you too, Justin.” I managed to say, in a pause in his chattering.

“Oh! And this is Hector!” Justin motioned to the wolf waiting patiently behind him. “Hector, this is my dear friend, Oliver.”

“Hi.” The big wolf nodded, eyeing me strangely.

“He’s a pro-bodybuilder.” Justin said. “Isn’t he just gorgeous?”

I nodded meekly. Sure, the wolf was good looking. But to me, he didn’t hold a candle to my bear…

The wolf was rolling his eyes. “Oh, are my looks all that matters to you?”

“Not at all, dear.” Justin patted him on the arm. “There’s also the way you fuck me senseless!”

I winced a little at the open discussion of sexual activity in a public place, my ears flattening.

Hector seemed to notice. “Hon, you seem to be embarrassing your friend.”

“I know.” The fox chuckled, a playful glint in his eyes. “Isn’t he just adorable when he’s getting all shy and embarrassed?”

That was vaguely annoying, but before I was able to string together the words to tell him that, he was looking past me, his attention drawn elsewhere.

“Oliver,” He said, slightly reproachfully. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to this handsome hunk you’re with?”

I glanced over my shoulder, remembering that Harvey was there. He was waiting patiently, arms folded across his chest, looking at me with a strange mix of bemusement and frustration.

I hastily made introductions “Of course. Sorry. This is Harvey. He’s…” I stopped, realizing I had been about to call the bear my friend, my first and automatic way of introducing a boyfriend when out in public. But with Harvey… doing that just felt wrong.

Taking a breath, I forced myself to say the words I would rarely say out in the open like this. “He’s my boyfriend.”

Justin stopped and stared at me silently for a moment as Harvey stood up and stepped forward to shake his paw and then do likewise with Hector.

As he turned to sit down again, he leaned in as he passed and whispered in my ear, low enough so that only I would hear. “Thank you, hon.”

It was only later that I realized that I had known exactly what he was talking about. Me openly calling him my boyfriend. He knew me well enough to know how difficult that must have been for me, and I knew that he did. Him expressing his appreciation had been rather sweet.

Justin joined me and Harvey sitting at the table, glancing back and forth between me and the bear, strangely quiet and thoughtful. However, Hector remained standing.

“I’m going to go grab a drink.” The wolf rumbled. “You want something, hon?”

“Sure, I’ll have a beer.” Justin smiled at him. “We have time for a quick drink.”

As Hector wandered off in the direction of the nearest drink stall, Justin turned to me and Harvey. “We won’t intrude on you two for too long, we’re meeting up with some friends and heading off to a big party.” His ears perked up as something occurred to him. “Do you two want to tag along? I’m sure it’d be cool.”

I exchanged a look with Harvey. It was amazing just how well I could read his answer to that in his expression. Not a chance in hell. It matched my own thoughts. But as Justin’s friend, he left it to me to answer.

“Thank you.” I said. “But no. We’ll be fine here.”

Justin nodded, once again being more quiet than normal, a sly smile on his muzzle as he watched me and Harvey. What was up with him?

“Want a refill?” Harvey said, motioning with a paw to my empty glass. “I’m going to get one.”

“Okay…” I said, shaken out of my thoughts. Harvey was giving me an odd look. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” He said, glancing between me and Justin. “And it’ll give you two a few moments to catch up.”

He headed off to the drinks stall and I watched him go, hoping he was okay. My ex showing up like this had been unexpected and was more than a little uncomfortable.

“Umm…” I groped for something to say to Justin. “Hector seems nice.”

“Oh, that’s just a fling.” Said the fox, waving a paw dismissively in the air. “He looks great and is good in bed, but that’s about it. I mean, damn, he can really be boring when he gets talking, especially about his workout routine. It becomes almost impossible to shut him up. We’ll probably have another few days of fun at most before breaking up.”

“Well…” I said, a little taken aback by his brutal honesty. “If you’re okay with that.”

“Sure I am, Oliver!” He laughed. “And so is he. We both knew what this was going into it. Neither of us wants anything long term.” He suddenly fixed me with an intense glare. “But enough about me, dish the dirt on you and that hunk of a bear!”

Suddenly put on the spot, I squirmed a little, unsure of what to say. “Okay… what do you want to know?”

“He’s the guy who saved your life, right?” Justin asked.

I nodded. “Yeah.”

“Thought so.” The fox settled back in his chair. “And you guys are dating now? You called him your boyfriend. Never heard you say that out loud in public before. How long have the two of you been an item?”

“It’s been a few weeks now.” I said, unable to stop a smile spreading across my muzzle.

“I’m glad you’ve managed to move on.” Justin ducked his head, ears flattening slightly. “Y’know, after my confession about still having feelings for you.”

I reached out and gave him a sympathetic pat on the arm. “Yeah, and it was the right thing to do. You were right, we’re too different for things to work between us. I probably wouldn’t have been able to finally move on if you hadn’t said it.”

He looked up at me and gave me a weak smile. “Thanks, Oliver.”

“How are you doing?” I ask, a little concerned.

“Oh, I’ll be fine.” He said, doing his best to perk up. “I’ll get over things and move on eventually. You know me, I always bounce back.” He let out a low chuckle. “Sleeping with a hot muscular wolf helps!”

I laughed and rolled my eyes. It seemed in some ways, Justin would never change.

“And hey, I’m so happy for you.” Justin said, putting on a smile that I like to think wasn’t too forced. “You and Harvey, you make a great couple…”

“Thanks.” I said. “He’s a great guy.”

The fox looked me in the eye and frowned. Then his smile suddenly returned, bigger than before. “Oh my God! You haven’t realized yet!”

Now it was my turn to frown. “Realized what?”

Justin was laughing. “I really do know you better than you know yourself sometimes! You can just be so adorably naïve!”

“What are you talking about?” I demanded.

“Not my place to say.” Justin giggled. “But trust me, Oliver, I’m sure you’ll figure it out soon enough.”

I gave up, knowing all too well that he wouldn’t tell me what he meant if he didn’t want to. It was frustrating, of course, but I could live with it.

He started chattering on about the party he and Hector were going to be heading off to soon, his brief lapse of emotion at me having moved on seemingly forgotten. But that was Justin, nothing seemed to bother him for very long.

I wish I could say the same about me. Justin’s assertion that there was something I hadn’t realized weighed on my mind, especially as I didn’t have the slightest clue what he might be talking about.

As I sat there, listening to Justin talk, nodding my head here and there, I was inwardly wracking my brain for answers, but couldn’t come up with anything.

It was really rather annoying…


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It was really quite annoying.

I mean, I was hoping for a nice night out, just me and Oliver. And who should show up? Justin, Oliver’s ex-boyfriend who he had feelings for years, and, as uncomfortable a thought it might have been, probably still did. Not to mention the fact that Justin still had feelings for my badger.

The whole thing had just taken me completely off guard, leaving me feeling awkward and frustrated. I’d had to make the excuse of fetching drinks for myself and Oliver to step away from the table and organise my thoughts, in order to avoid saying something I’d regret that would make the situation more uneasy and difficult than it already was.

After all, I was determined not to repeat my mistakes from our previous date, getting all possessive and paranoid, no matter how convinced I remained that the lion at the theatre had been a bit of a creep.

But as soon as I padded away from the table, I realized I had just left my boyfriend alone with his ex, both of whom still loved each other. Maybe that hadn’t been the best of ideas…

No, I told myself, shaking off that thought. I trusted Oliver. Nothing was going to happen. Besides, Justin wasn’t going to be around for long, he had his wolf would be heading off to some party soon. I was glad that Oliver had managed to read my expression well enough to know that there was no chance in hell of me wanting to head off to a party with his ex-boyfriend.

So, I just had to endure the fox’s presence for a short time, keep a lid on my feelings, be polite and friendly. I could manage that, for Oliver’s sake.

I found myself in the queue for the drinks stall behind the big wolf Hector. He was glancing back to the table, where Oliver and Justin were talking.

“So, that’s the great Oliver, huh?” He muttered.

My ears perked up at that. “What do you mean?”

“Oh, Justin talks about that badger a lot.” The wolf shrugged. “Goes on and on about how great he is. I guess I was just expecting something a little more… impressive.”

I wasn’t surprised the fox had apparently talked about Oliver a lot, given that I knew Justin still had feelings for my badger. But I wasn’t sure if the wolf was aware of that, so I kept quiet about it. Besides, I was more interested in responding to his comments about my boyfriend.

“You don’t think Oliver is impressive?” I bristled.

“Nah.” Hector simply shrugged, seemingly not noticing my reaction. “He seems a little dull, and hey, let’s be honest, he’s not that attractive, kind of plain-looking…”

“You’re talking about my boyfriend.” I said, trying to keep the growl from my voice.

“Hey, no offense.” Hector raised a conciliatory paw. “I’m sure he’s a nice guy and all… but come on! You gotta see you could do so much better. He’s obviously nothing too special…”

Right then, in that moment, I found myself hating this fucking wolf. There was a strong temptation to hit him, to punch that stupid judgemental smirk off his muzzle. But I knew that would be wrong, no matter how satisfying it would feel.

So, I kept a reign on my growing anger at Hector and said. “For your information, muscle boy, Oliver happens to be one of the best and most special guys I have ever met.” This time, I don’t bother to keep the growl from my voice.

The wolf shot me a strange look and raised an eyebrow. “Are you joking? Sorry, buddy, I can’t tell…”

I was seriously taken back a little by how dense he seemed to be. But then, he was unable to see how special Oliver was, so perhaps I shouldn’t have been so surprised that he was somewhat on the slow side. However, his words simply managed to make me more annoyed with him and the temptation to hit him became a little harder to resist.

“Then let me make this simple for you.” I sneered, my paws clenching into fists. “Say another word against my boyfriend, and I will fucking flatten you!”

“Seriously?” Hector seemed more than a little shocked. “Over that badger?”

“Try me.” I smirked, glaring at him.

He simply shrugged and turned his attention away from me. Which just made me even more annoyed at him for some reason. I decided to just let it drop and not say anything further to him.

But that said, I still found myself hating the bastard.

We got our drinks and returned to the table, where Justin was talking about some all-night party he’d been to the week before where he’d met Hector. Apparently, he had broken up with some artist tiger a few days before and had been looking for someone fun to be with and had hit it off with the wolf.

As I sat there, only half listening to the fox, wishing he and the wolf would leave, I kept exchanging mean looks with Hector, my dislike of him bubbling under the surface, and creating a tension between us. But I didn’t say anything further to him.

When I looked at Oliver, I noticed he was raising an eyebrow at me, and I guessed he was sensing the tension between me and Hector and wondering what that was about.

I wasn’t sure what I was going to say to him when he eventually asked. Did I really want to tell him about the wolf’s low opinion of him? Would that hurt and upset him? I didn’t want to do that to him. But on the other paw, I couldn’t really lie to him, could I?

And once again, I found myself hating the damn wolf, this time for putting me in that position. And I wasn’t exactly the biggest fan of Justin either, for interrupting my date with Oliver with this crap.

But I kept myself under control and behaved myself, being as polite and friendly as I could manage. It helped that Justin did most of the talking, but at one point he did ask about me and what I did. I gave him a brief explanation that I worked at a garage fixing cars and he seemed to approve, saying he liked a male who was good with his paws, his tone flirty and he gave me a grin and a wink.

I noticed Oliver rolling his eyes at that, he didn’t seem offended at Justin apparently flirting with me. I didn’t feel the same but kept quiet about it. The fox quickly moved on to talking about some of the stuff he and his wolf had been getting up to the past week, parties and sex romps and fancy restaurants.

Justin’s constant monopolising of the conversation really started to grate on my nerves, and I found myself disliking him more and more. I mean, yeah, I was the current boyfriend and he was the ex, so of course I wasn’t going to like him too much, but still, this was more than that.

So, it was a relief when he finally checked the time on his phone and declared that he and Hector had to get going. We exchanged some brief goodbyes. I said how nice it had been to meet them, not actually meaning a word of it. We shook paws and I squeezed Hector’s perhaps a little too hard, giving him a fierce look that left no question about I felt about him.

I watched the fox and the wolf wander off, arm in arm, and sagged back in my chair. “Well,” I said. “That was a little awkward.”

Beside me, Oliver let out a snort. “More than a little…” He then sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey.” I said, turning to face him. “You have nothing to be sorry for. It wasn’t your fault they showed up. It was just something that couldn’t be helped.”

“I guess.” Oliver said, but it seemed he wasn’t done blaming himself. “It’s just... I should have realised this event might be the sort of thing Justin would go to, and I knew he doesn’t live too far away…”

“Oh hush, you silly badger.” I smiled what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “It really wasn’t your fault. We’re not going to avoid going somewhere because of who might be there.”

A slightly pained look briefly wrinkled his features, ears going flat, before vanishing as he forced a weak smile. “Right.”

There was something bugging him about that comment, I was certain. But he didn’t seem to want to talk about it, and before I could ask, he moved the conversation on.

“Are you doing okay?” He asked. “You seemed a little tense…”

That was when I had to decide what to tell him about what Hector had said. And I decided to protect my badger’s feelings and avoid the subject entirely.

“I’m fine.” I told him. “It’s just I never really expected to have to have a conversation with my boyfriend’s ex…” He looked about to say something, and I could tell what it was, so hastily added. “And it is still not your fault, so no need to say you’re sorry again.”

Oliver chuckled and settled back in his chair. “If you say so, hero.”

“I do.” I shot him a warm smile. “Now, how about me forget about Justin and just enjoy the rest of the evening?”

He smiled back, just as warmly, a beautiful twinkle in his lovely grey eyes. “Sounds like a great plan.”

And it was. We sat nursing our drinks and listening to more good music. A smooth jazz band had started playing at that point and Oliver relaxed together, enjoying the atmosphere and being with each other. It wasn’t long before our paws were once again grasping under the table, causing me to feel warm and wonderful.

We seemed to tire of the music about the same time as each other and decided to leave the festival and end the evening with a nice relaxed walk along the riverside.

But as we were about to leave, I spotted some public rest rooms and excused myself to go make use of them, a happy spring in my step.

When I returned, I found that Oliver wasn’t where I’d left him. I glanced about, but had trouble spotting him in the crowds that were milling about. Where had he got to?

There was a brief flash of cold paranoid fear that maybe he’d ditched me, that he’d gone running off after Justin, wanting to be with the fox more than a bear like me…

Yes, it was a silly and stupid thought that I shook off pretty much immediately. But it was there all the same. I couldn’t help it.

“Looking for me, hero?”

I turned to see Oliver grinning at me, ears perked up, his paws clasped behind his back for some reason.

“Where did you disappear off to?” I asked, with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, I went and got you a little something.” Oliver beamed. “Surprise!” He pulled his paws from behind his back, showing me he was holding something, which he offered to me.

It was a little toy guitar, with the festival logo printed on it. It was a simple little red plastic thing with only three strings, not really capable of playing anything. And yet, as I took it from him, I was taken aback by the sweetness and thoughtfulness of the gesture.

“I saw it at that stall back there.” Oliver explained, gesturing behind him towards a souvenir kiosk. “And I just thought of you. I thought maybe it could tide you over until you get a proper one. If you decide to get one, that is…” He shyly ducked his muzzle in an oddly endearing fashion. “It’s kind of silly, I know…”

“No, it’s really not.” I said, a twinge of emotion in my voice. “It’s wonderful, I love it.”

“Really?” Oliver said, looking unsure.

“Yes!” I told him. “It’s such a thoughtful gift. Thank you.” I leaned in close and kept my voice low, so that only he could hear. “And you wouldn’t believe how so badly I want to hug and kiss you right now.” The smile that lit up his face at that was wonderful to behold.

I playfully picked at the toy guitar’s strings with a claw as we left the festival side by side, strolling along the path by the river, enjoying the cool evening air. I just couldn’t stop looking back and forth between Oliver and his gift. I really couldn’t get over how touching a gift it was. I really did love it

It was amazing just how easily and effortlessly Oliver was able to make me happy. And of course, I found myself wishing I could do the same for him.

Which led my train of thought back to my knowledge of his father and the possibility of talking to him and fixing things between him and Oliver. I couldn’t help but feel that if I were to manage that, it would make my badger so happy. So, if there was an opportunity to make my boyfriend happy, surely I should take it?

I set aside that thought for the moment, even though I was well aware I would have to decide about that soon. But not tonight. Tonight was about being with Oliver.

And as I smiled at him once again, I wondered what I had done to deserve such a wonderful boyfriend…


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What had I done to deserve such a wonderful boyfriend as Harvey?

That thought went around and round my thoughts as the two of us strolled along by the river. Did I really deserve a great guy like Harvey in my life?

He was still playing with the toy guitar I bought for him. He really seemed pleased with it, which made me happy. Although I kept wondering how much he really liked it, and how much he was just saying that so as to not offend me.

Whatever the case, it had seemed the right thing to do. Despite his assurances, I did still feel kind of guilty about the run in with Justin. I got the impression that something about that encounter had bothered him more than he let on. And when he mentioned how we were not going to avoid places because of who might be there, it reminded me of the theatre and Richard and the plays I was going to have to make sure we avoided. That bothered me, but I was determined to keep quiet about it and avoid upsetting Harvey with an unnecessary argument.

Getting the bear a gift had occurred to me as a great way to make my boyfriend happy and ease my feelings of guilt a little. And it seemed to have worked.

We strolled along, drifting away from the music festival. There were still a fair few people about heading to or coming from the festival behind us, but they were becoming less and less as we went.

Harvey continued plucking thoughtfully at his little guitar. After a while, I had to laugh. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it so much.”

He looked at me sheepishly. “Sorry if I’m neglecting you. I’ll put it away for now… wonder if it’ll fit in my pocket?” He reached a paw into his jacket pocket, testing its size, then frowned. He pulled out his paw and was holding a small piece of card.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He shook his head. “Just a bit of garbage I forgot was there.” He crumpled up the card and tossed it in the direction of a trash bin we were passing.

As he carried on, slipping the toy guitar into the now empty pocket, he failed to notice that he’d missed, and the crumpled card had landed short of the bin. Being somewhat litter conscious, I stopped to pick it up for him.

I had meant to simply dump it in the bin, but as I stood up, my eyes caught the word ‘detective’. That piqued my curiosity enough to smooth out the card.

It was a business card for a private detective by the name of Jacob Corrigan. Why would my bear have this? I turned to ask him, but he was already a little distance away, having not noticed me stopping to pick up the card.

As I hurried after him, the thought occurred that given it was something he’d described as ‘garbage’ it might not be something he wanted to talk about, and pushing him on it might put some strain on our date that had already been strained enough by a run in with my ex.

So, as I caught up to him, I simply shoved the card into a pocket. I’d ask him about it some other time. Or wait until he decided it was something he wanted to share with me. That would probably be best.

I arrived at his side and he smiled at me. “Am I walking too fast for you?”

“Don’t worry, I can keep up with you, hero.” I assured him. “I’m not going to let you get away.”

“I wouldn’t ever want to get away from you.” He chuckled. “Being with you is the best place I can possibly be.”

Warmth filled me at those words. “Well, thank you, I’m happy you think so.”

“I don’t think so, I know so.” He grins broadly at me. “I mean, I don’t know how you do it.”

“Do what?” I asked.

“Manage to be so sweet and wonderful all the time.” Harvey had a gorgeous sparkle in his eyes as he smiled at me.

I felt a flush of embarrassment in my ears and ducked my muzzle shyly. “Oh, stop it…”

“And there you go, being all cute and adorable.” Harvey chuckled and shook his head. “Okay, I’ll cut it out if bothers you.”

“It doesn’t bother me.” I said, hastily.

“Good.” He nodded, and the smile on his muzzle was warm and comforting.

I felt such a strong surge of warm emotion towards him, this magnificent handsome caring bear who had decided I was good enough to date, who had brought so much happiness into my life in a short space of time, given me hope that my life could go well…

Then and there, I wanted so badly to grab him and kiss him. But I was well aware that we were in public and I couldn’t kiss him, not with so many people about.

Or could I?

My heart was pounding in my chest at that thought. No, I couldn’t, not here, no matter how much I wanted to show him how much I appreciated him. The very thought of kissing another guy in public filled me with dread…

But this wasn’t just another guy. This was Harvey.

Ah, fuck it!

And with that thought in my head, I stepped in front of my boyfriend, not allowing myself to think too much about what I was about to do. I reached up and grabbed the sides of his face and pulled him down towards me.

He didn’t resist, a questioning look on his face and a confused look in his eyes. I closed my eyes and pressed my muzzle against his. He returned the kiss, his arms wrapping around me and paws pressing against my back.

The world around us seemed to fade away as we kissed, and I let myself lose myself in it, enjoying the feeling of being close to the bear, the sensation of him pressed against me. It felt so incredibly…

“Hey, get a room faggots!”

The shout shattered the moment and I pulled back, shrinking away from Harvey, ears flattening. We both turned to the source of the voice, a passing boar shooting us a disgusted look.

“Fuck off, asshole!” Harvey growled back at him.

I didn’t see the boar’s reaction, as I had turned away in shame, regretting the public display of affection, and then immediately hating myself for having that reaction, because the kiss had been fantastic, and I knew I shouldn’t let the reaction of some passing homophobic jerk get to me. But it still did.

A flash of memory flickered through my head. Of a gang of homophobes attacking me, of a knife plunged into my stomach, of pain and fear…

With a shake of my head, I forced the memory back. This particular homophobe seemed uninterested in starting anything violent, simply snarling something unintelligible at Harvey before continuing on his way. But the fear remained that next time we might not be that lucky. What if next time, if I ever managed to muster up the courage for there to be a next time, the homophobe who saw us decided that violence was an appropriate reaction?

But while the idea of being attacked and hurt again was bad, even worse was the idea that something might happen to Harvey, that someone might attack and hurt him, and it would be my fault for not being able to control myself in public. That was an utterly horrible thought, my bear getting hurt because of me and…

Harvey’s paw landed on my shoulder. “Hey, you okay?”

I looked into his eyes, full of concern and worry and compassion, and it instantly helped me feel a little better. But only a little.

“Not really.” I shook my head, my ears flat. “I’m sorry.” I ducked my head, looking down at the ground, feeling so fucking ashamed of myself.

“Hey now.” Harvey said, his paw massaging my shoulder reassuringly. “Don’t ever apologise for kissing me. It was great, fantastic, and I know it must have been hard for you, so I really appreciate you overcoming your fear to do it…”

“But…”

“And you are not responsible for random idiotic assholes.” He added. “You have absolutely nothing to apologise for.”

A paw reached under my chin and gently raised my muzzle so that were looking into each other’s eyes again and the deeps of affection and concern I saw there washed away some more of my bad feelings.

“Don’t you ever apologize for being you.” He told me, seriously. “You have nothing to be sorry for or to feel ashamed of.”

If those words had come from anyone else, I was fairly certain I would have rejected them instantly. But the fact that they were coming from Harvey gave them weight and I found myself nodding and feeling a lot better.

Before I knew what I was doing, I hugged him. Just quickly, wrapping my arms around him and giving him a squeeze before releasing him again. As I drew back, he looked down at me, wearing a slight smile on his muzzle and a quizzical look in his eyes.

“Thank you, hero.” I said, quietly, managing to smile back at him.

“You’re welcome, handsome.” His warm tone of voice soothed me even further.

We said nothing more about the incident and carried on walking. After a few minutes silence, conversation between us started up again, but it was jokey banter and small talk, just the two of us enjoying being together. And that was good, the last of my bad feelings fading as we walked and talked.

Eventually, it started to get pretty late and we wandered back to my car. As I drove him home, he seemed quiet and thoughtful and I wondered what was going through his head. But I avoided asking, in case it was something private he didn’t want to share, or something bad, some left over thought from the run in with Justin or us getting yelled at by a homophobe. I didn’t want to end our date on a down note.

I saw him to his door, but really just so I could step inside briefly to give him a proper hug and full on, tongues in each other’s muzzles kiss goodnight.

As we said our goodbyes, Harvey dropped a few hints that he would be okay with me spending the night, and there was certainly a strong temptation to do just that, the thought of cuddling up with a naked Harvey and seeing what happened was very attractive. But I really was tired, and the memories of that fucking homophobe on the street were creeping back into my head and I felt like I needed a little alone time to properly process and deal with what had happened. I wasn’t sure how in the mood for sex I would ultimately be if I stayed, and I wanted to avoid the possibility of my first night with Harvey being a disappointment.

So, I said goodnight and we said we’d talk tomorrow and see each other again soon and I drove home and went to bed, thoughtful and distracted the whole way.

As I lay in bed, trying and failing to sleep, the events of that night swirled around my head endlessly. It had mostly been a good night out, just a few bad spots, which were really my fault I knew deep down, despite Harvey’s assurances.

I mean, I was the one who’d been stupid enough to kiss him in public. Why the hell had I done that?

That was actually a very good question, once I thought about it. Why had I done it? I had never done that with anyone before in my entire life.

The answer was simple. Because it was Harvey and he was special. After all, with only a few words and caring looks, he had almost immediately managed to make me feel a lot better about what had happened. Enough that I had been willing to risk another public display of affection, even if it had just been a quick hug.

I shook my head, unable to stop myself smiling as I thought about my bear boyfriend. If anyone had told me before I met Harvey that the day would come when I’d risk kissing and hugging another guy in public, that there’d be someone capable of soothing my bad feelings after getting yelled at by some homophobe… well, to say I’d think them crazy is an understatement.

But as I said, Harvey was so damn special. More special than Justin, who I’d actually managed to talk to without one single twinge of desire for the fox, I realised. I didn’t think that would ever happen…

And then Justin’s words came back to me. His claim that there was something I hadn’t realized. What on Earth could he have…?

Then it hit me. The full-on knowledge of what he’d been talking about clicked into place, and in that moment lying there in bed, I realized the truth, something that seemed so obvious in hindsight but was still a shock as it hit me.

I was in love with Harvey.

Before that moment, I hadn’t thought of the word ‘love’ in connection with my bear. I cared about him a great deal, had a lot of affection for him, sure. Found him wonderful and attractive. But the ‘L’ word just hadn’t occurred to me.

Now it was in my head and I couldn’t deny it. I loved Harvey. Just thinking that filled me with an indescribable warmth, happiness flooding through me.

And the more I thought about it, the more real and wonderful it was. I loved that bear, his compassion and understanding, the way it felt to be near him, the thrill when we hugged and kissed, the way his face lit up when he smiled, that incredible sparkle in his eyes when he was happy… the list went on and on.

A feeling of yearning for him welled up in me and regretted coming home rather than staying with him for the night. But I reassured myself with the fact that I had apparently needed this time to figure out that I loved him.

And there was plenty of time. There’d be plenty of other nights. Now that I knew I loved Harvey, I was sure as hell going to be spending a lot more time with him.

Thinking of my Harvey, I finally drifted off to sleep. And for the first time in a while, there was not even a hint of a nightmare.

For the next several days, I was in a bit of a state of shock, as the truth of my revelation started to really sink in. I was in love with Harvey. And the more I thought about it, the more right and wonderful it felt. I was in love! As the days went by, I felt happier and happier. I had to admit to myself that I had never really thought or expected to fall in love again. After the break up with Justin, I had just expected that I would never find real love again, and nothing in the years since then had changed that expectation.

But now here I was, in love with a wonderful bear and feeling more alive than I had felt in years!

The question then became how to tell Harvey. My good mood faltered slightly at that. Realizing I was in love was one thing. Actually saying it out loud to the guy I loved was something else entirely.

We had talked on the phone every day since our date, but I had said nothing about me being in love with him. I had just allowed myself to enjoy talking to my lovely boyfriend, not saying a word to him about how I loved him.

The cold fear gripped me that maybe he wouldn’t say it back. Maybe he didn’t feel that strongly about me. Maybe he never would. Maybe he saw our relationship as just a fling, just a bit of fun, like Justin and Hector. Maybe it would be best if I didn’t say anything about it, avoid embarrassing myself.

Of course, the alternative wasn’t much better. Keeping my feelings bottled up, never telling Harvey how I felt, that just felt wrong.

I would tell him. Despite my fears, there really was no question of that. It really just meant I had something to worry about now, trying to find the right moment and the right words to tell him how much I had come to love him.

By Wednesday morning, my thoughts had settled down enough so that I could relax and enjoy the feeling of being in love, despite my continued anxiousness over telling Harvey.

But then life threw me a curveball, as it does from time to time.

There was a knock on my door around lunchtime. My first thought was that maybe it was Harvey, dropping by for a surprise lunch date. That would be the sort of thing he’d do, try to help me stave off boredom and loneliness. I couldn’t help but smile at the thought.

However, when I opened my door, I found someone I didn’t know standing there. A thin raccoon in a casual suit.

“Oliver, right?” He said with a raised eyebrow.

It was a little disconcerting that this stranger knew my name. “Yes… I’m sorry, do I know you?”

“I’m Marcus.” The raccoon said, his tail lashing nervously back and forth behind him. “I don’t know if Harvey might have mentioned me. I’m a friend of his…”

“Okay…” I was still a little unsure what was going on here. “And why are you here?”

He sighed, ears flicking anxiously.  “I thought we should talk. There’s things you really need to know about Harvey and his past…”


To Be Continued…

Read Part 12...

Raging Tiger/Kuman the Barbarian/Mitchell and Michael/Going Under/Beware the Transformer/That Day/Working Bears/Heart of a Hero

The Art Gallery/The Library/The Comic Store

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